So it was a surprise to have my name called out at the end of the show along with the lead dances and to find my arms full of long stemmed red roses. I can still feel myself standing on that case stage, blushing furiously and gazing over the footlights to see my father's grin as he applauded loudly.
Those roses were the first in a series of large bouquets that accompanied all the milestones in my life. They brought a sense of ambivalence, of being caught between pleasure and embarrassment. I enjoyed them, but flustered by the extravagance.